Tea for Two, and Two for Tea

Jenny: I do say, Rachel, that was quite the delightful afternoon we had last Tuesday. I’m so glad we had afternoon tea with Stacy, Caitlin, Tom, and Susan!

Rachel: But of course, my dear! I’m thrilled we were able to see Fortnum and Mason. Did you know it was founded by two footmen in the service of Queen Anne?

Jenny: Yes—I was on the bus tour too.

Rachel: Oh. (pause) Well, it really is a marvelous store, and their tea room is quite exquisite, with the traditional décor and live piano music.

Jenny: Though I must say their musical selection was lacking.

Rachel: Yes, the jazzy interpretations of television theme songs were not up to my expectations of high tea music. Though he played a mean “Happy Days.”

Jenny: Indeed! But the food! I would never have imaged high tea to be so satisfying.

Rachel: Quite right! Those were the best tiny sandwiches I’ve ever had! The amount of food is surprisingly deceptive…you think “why, fancy that! Four little sandwiches, two miniature scones and two small desserts will never cut my appetite,” but I was pleasantly full.

Jenny: Ah, and the tea! I’ve never had finer. I’ve always loved Earl Grey, but the flavour in my cup vastly surpassed anything I could have imagined. No wonder the British relish the stuff.

Rachel: Did you just spell flavor with an “ou?”

Jenny: Yes. . .

Rachel: Dork.

Jenny: . . .

Rachel: The tea was excellent though. I agree wholeheartedly with that. But I should add that the champagne—my goodness, I can’t mention it without swooning—was divine. We had the rosé, you recall?

Jenny: Oh yes! The waiter recommended it highly, and right he was. And he poured it ever so carefully . . . so not to spill a single drop. “Every drop is expensive,” he said.

Rachel:—as he spilled all over the side of my glass. Other than that he was quite a fine waiter, and extremely tolerant of silly American students wanting to pay with separate checks and spilling clotted cream all over the exquisite table linens.

Jenny: That was you, not me.

Rachel: Please, Jenny, not in front of the scones.

Jenny: At any rate, it was a marvelously British afternoon.

Rachel: Quite right, quite right. We highly recommend high tea for those after a highly cultured experience.

-Rachel Teagle and Jenny Oyallon-Koloski